In conjunction with the International Women's Day, I would like to reminisce and talk about the women and man in my life who , in some ways shaped me to be what I am today. Some may say " successful", and " authoritative" others may say " bossy " and " annoying" .
I come from a line of strong minded women who were trailblazers in their time. My mother, the late Dr Solmi Abdullah, was the first malay lady dentist in Malaysia.
The eldest daughter of teachers, she was the one of the first three students of Malay Girls' College ( now TKC) to sit for the Cambridge exam. She left her home in Kangar, Perlis, at the age of 12 to go to a boarding school in Kuala Lumpur . While. this may not be a challenge today, back then there were no phones in every household, and certainly no whatsapp or even sms. Communication was purely through letters. Emerging top of her class, she was offered a scholarship initially to study medicine in University Malaya Singapore, and later to Adelaide University, Australia. It was in Australia that she changed her mind and pursued dentistry instead. While pursuing dentistry, she had another change of heart and wanted to switch to journalism but this time her mother, my grandmother said no. Another strong woman.
During her university days , she played hockey, unlike her daughter ,who is a total klutz in sports. She returned to Malaysia to serve the government, and married my dad. I was born a year later, followed by my sister and brother. My childhood memories are that of picnics in the garden or by the beach, as were spent a number of years in Kuantan, as well as music and dance classes. I studied Indian and Scottish dancing and later, ballet. These took place in the 70's, in Kuantan, a small town in the east coast. Looking back, I must say she went to great lengths to look for classes and teachers for us. It couldnt have been easy back then.
As a dental officer, I'm sure she must have been busy with her duties. I spent many days in her clinic room , sometimes " helping" her by calling patients and playing with the mercury that was used to make amalgam. She would also apply fluoride to my teeth. Back then i used to think it was because she had some left over from an earlier patient, or she wanted to ensure my teeth were strong; now, looking back, I wonder if it was because she needed some peace and quiet even if it was just for 10 to 20 minutes. You see, I was a chatterbox back then. Some may say I still am, today :) . Another activity was making a plaster of paris model of my thumb. Again, I had to sit still while the medical assistant made the cast. This would be followed by rojak buah. To a young child, this was the ideal life. Having saved my entire week's pocket money of 20 scents per day, I would then go to the bookstore with my driver to look for books. Enid Blyton books, if I recall correctly, were about $ 2.00 each, so 2 weeks of pocket money will be sufficient for a book. I didnt spend my money in the school canteen as my mum made sure I had food for recess. This would usually be sent to me as the shops opened a little later than when school started. When we had extra classes in the afternoon before our standard 5 exams, she would have lunch with me, either by bringing food over to the school or taking me out to a nearby restaurant . The government clinic was across the road from my school, you see, and traffic in Kuantan in the 70's was pretty light.
Despite her schedule , she managed to spend time with us, never once complaining about us being troublesome or a burden. Her solution to my picky eating habits? she invited my friends over for lunch. I guess she felt much better watching my friends enjoy lunch since her own daughter won't eat . Lucky for me, my daughter enjoyed and still does, food. My elder son was a picky eater but I soon found his sweet spot.
She taught me to take things in my stride and to enjoy parenthood. I may complain about a lot of things but my children or being a parent isnt one of them.
My mother may not have achieved what she did without the strong support of her parents. Her mother, my grandmother, was another strong woman in my life. A teacher, she married young and had my mum when she was 17. She went on to have 8 children, one of whom died early. All her children received tertiary education in one form or the other. Not a simple feat, considering she had 5 girls. Two, including my mother, went to malay girls' college. One went to MCKK. Three became teachers. One trained and became a dental nurse. My grandmother was well known for her cooking and was in the WI in Perlis. She was the only one who could feed me. Literally. I used to sit on her lap whenever we went back to Perlis and she would feed me rice with terubuk bakar.
I think had we stayed in Perlis, I would have been one rotund kid.
Being thee self proclaimed favourite granddaughter, I used to get my own supply of raya cookies and serunding whenver we went back for Raya. I would also ignore my parents and spend my days and nights with her and my cousins, sleeping in the main hall and going to the market with her. She would have her trishaw man come over in the morning and we would then go to the market where she seemed to know everybody. Guess the apple didnt fall far from the tree, right? She too, had the gift of the gab. Cooking skills, not so. That talent went to my cousins.
